fullfilled and broken

good bye 2012

another new year resolution is coming
but before i start writing my 2013 resolution
i did flipped back to my january 1st blog entry
where i wrote my 2012 aims
I have to say ... JOB WELL DONE.
alhamdulillah
tq Almighty Allah for ur blessing
2012 has been great year for me and for my family
a year ago , i would not have thought i have what  i have right now

which make me puzzled
what 2013 has waiting for me?
will 2013 be nice to me? or otherwise? nauzubillah
God has plans for me
and I pray hard to Allah it would be another great year for me

most importantly
i wish for a good health for me and my family
good fortune... great business
loving wife and daugther :)

there were a few bad moments in 2012 which i would not rather mention here
but those pitiful moments are well forgotton


Ya Allah. the Most Gracious , the Most Merciful

forgive all my sins and wrong doings
Thank you for what u have given me
please give me more. A lot more wouldnt hurt
protect me and my family away from trouble , sickness , disease , accidents , bad luck
help me to be a better man , a better husband , a better dad
may baby nia grow up well ,SOLEHAH ,  healthy , prettier
make me closer to You
I pray that by the end of the year i would have my own clinic ( big ameeenn )
and i want to be the cover of men's health or at least Maskulin 
.... if it is not too much to ask... a ferrari maybe God??? a 458 spyder perhaps..

Amennnn

euthanasia - must read!

 

EUTHANASIA

not many of us aware of this topic 

why? because it is illegal in our country

the reason i m writing here it is not because i am pro euthanasia

just as a general knowledge to be shared

i came across this issue as i watched the movie " u dont know jack"

last night

the movie is about Dr josh kervokian played by al pacino who practiced euthanasia in michigan USA 

before i go further

what the heck is euthanasia

there are many term , the most famous would be " doctor assisted suicide"

the aim of euthanasia is to end someone life - painlessly and with dignity

Euthanasia is legal in certain state in US and some country in europe

but it is illegal in Malaysia

and it is HARAM in Islam

in places where euthanasia is legal

it is offered and the service is available to terminally ill patients

such as stage 4 cancer patients , patient with severe pain which cannot be relieved by medication and operation.

Patient who has psychiatric disorder are not eligable for euthanasia

euthanasia is done with patient consent 

euthanasia without patient consent is called murder

Dr Josh Kervokian , through out his life had done about 130 euthanasia for different kind of medical causes and reasons.

the public was against him and so does the michigan state

he ended up being jailed for 8 years

he was released on 2007 , and he never regretted doing all those mercy killings

one of the method he used was the lethal injection

when i was in the aneasthesia department .. i am very familiar with the drug used for the lethal injection

basically the drugs used for lethal injection are drugs used to under patient for general anaesthesia before they been cut open .. painlessly

by giving extra dosage... this method should end someone life painlessly

for the lethal injection method

he would use 3 drugs

he starts with intravenous thiopentone to make the patient goes into deep sleep then coma...

after the patient is in coma , he administered the muscle relaxant .. to stop the patient from breathing..

one the patient stops breathing... he will add the xtra dose of pottasium chloride to stop the heart from breathing... then it is the end of that patient life

yesssss... the drugs are available easily in the hospital  , in the operating theater of course.

during the operation.. after we administered the muscle relaxant , we will connect the patient to the ventilator so that the lung will keep breathing :)

technically speaking... the lethal injection method sound painless and easy

but then it is not true

As a muslim.. it was written in hadith.. during our beloved prophet Muhammad SAW was dying.. he felt the extreme pain when the Death angel came to take his life. 

if someone so loved by Allah felt the pain... apa lagi kita manusia biasa kan?

 

Euthanasia ?

What do u think???

dear houseman - part 9011

I received a lot of email and messages from houseman
all over malaysia
asking me how to survive housemanship
well , i already answered that question
but still
like it or not
there is no easy way out from housemanship
u have to be patient and smart
u have to keep ur head down
u have to lay low
u have to follow orders
for that 2 years period
u have to be good
in order for u to become a capable doctor in the future

then , once u passed that horrible 2 years period
u are free as a bird
or not
u could continue to suffer hard labour if u still work at the hospital
or u could have a calmer life at the local clinic
it is ur choice
once u choose to be at the small klinik kesihatan
there is no more life saving situation
it is just plain daily life
treating chronic diseases such as hypertension and diabetic
doing antenatal check ups
it is a routine job
nothing much
but ur life is pretty much in order
no oncall
no post call stress
and less challenging
to those adrenaline junkie doctors , continue working at the hospital for the rush and life threatening situation!

so yes..
dear housemen
stay put for the first 2 years
it's ur learning period
it's where u will learn a lot of new thing
that's the time when u made a mistake and people cant really blame u
technically u could kill a patient and the court can do nothing about it
u r protected by law!
so enjoy the moment

raising up baby nia - getting a maid

 

maid story

well . raising up a kid nowadays is very costly

nothing new here

for the past one year

i have hired a maid who comes to my mother's house during office hour

to take care of baby nia

we were lucky as she is a local

and live nearby

everything was fine as my parent want baby nia to stay with them as well

technically speaking, mommy and daddy could go to work everyday

without worrying about nia condition

but then

things are about to change

we have to move again somewhere in the near future

and preparation need to be done 

the grannies will be out of reach

the current local maid is out of reach as well

hence we opted to hire a maid

sending nia to day care or nursery is not a preferable choice

as our work schedule is very much unpredictable

the only logical choice available is to get an indonesian maid

which is very costly right now

to get a maid without working permit..

it would cost around rm6000-rm8000

depending on the agency

then , 

to get the permit from putrajaya

that would cost around rm3000 more

total - about rm10k for a maid

the best of it... 

after spending that rm10000

ur maid could just ran away anytime she wants to

no guarantee from the agency after 3 months period

there are rumours some agency told the maid to run back to them after 3 months period

they are making easy money from that

but then ,

that is the fact we have to face

the money spend could just go to waste if the maid choose to ran away

it is the gamble i have to take

to take care of nia

daddy would pay anything

as long as nia is well 

right now 

i am waiting for the maid to arrive

i am praying hard to ALLAH

that she will stay with us for the rest of her contract with us

at least for 2 years

 

PAPA pilihan @ majalah Pa& Ma

get the latest edition of Pa&Ma
Daddy nia n baby nia is in the center page for the papa pilihan slot!

she kissed me

baby nia cant sleep last night
maybebecause she started sleeping too early in the evening

at 5 am today, i noticed she woke up..
she sleeps with us every night

she tried to wake me up..
pushing me...
then she started toying with my face..
i was a bit too tired to play with her at 5 am in the morning
but she still could not sleep
then she started kissing me
yet and still.. i was still too sleepy
worse i took the flu pills as i was having flu

she was so cute
having a beautiful daughter like baby nia is such a blessing to me
that was the most wonderful thing she did
kissing her dad at 5 am in the morning
u make me think of u every single second baby nia

one liter of tear

i am sure a lot of people here have watched the famous this japanese drama entitled " ONE LITER OF TEAR

Basically it is about a girl name AYA who has been diagnosed with spinocerebellar degeneration disease.
what the heck is spinocerebellar degeneration disease ... in short + layman understandable sentence .. ur brain is shrinking and u start losing ur movement and sense.. little by little until u succumbed to death

yeah , it is cruel

I watch the movie when i was still a medical student
it touched my heart and i did cry when watching it
never thought i would see this case coming to my clinic,,

until about a week ago,

a parent brought in their 18 years old daugther to my clinic
she was on the wheel chair
the father came to me and explained the history of the daugther disease

it started when she was in form 5
she suddenly felt at school
after the accident , she cant walk anymore
the condition worsening and effect the whole lower limb
she was brought to the university hospital
MRI was done and the doctors there told the parent that the disease has no cure
they told the parent that their daughter brain is shrinking

the father was dissapointed and skipped the follow up treatment at the hospital
her condition worsening at home..
they finally decided to bring their daugther to doctor again as she was unable to speak and unable to hold stuff with her hands

when she came to me...
i remembered this movie

the parent is having a hard time trying to understand their daugther condition
i cant blame them..
technically speaking.. the disease is worse than cancer
slowly she will lose her motor function
and someday in near future she will stop breathing

my tear dropped as i explained in detail to her father regarding her condition
 he was shocked , as the doctors previously never gave him full coverage regarding her daughter situation...
he bursted into tears as well.

Life is cruel at times
this disease has no cure
she will suffer until the day she died
the mother told that sometimes at night the daughter will cry alone in her room

the father asked me.." doctor , technically , this disease is worse than HIV right ?"
that was the hardest thing for me to answer...
what would u say?
people with HIV could live longer technically...


I pray to ALLAH , to bless the family
she definitely will be in heaven
God has better plan for her
the parents has been through a lot

it remind me..
how thankful i should be
how grateful to God i should be
for the good health ,
for the wonderful family.
thank you ALLAH