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Monday, March 22, 2010

circle of life

behind those smiles,
u have no idea what lies beneath ...
the lady in the photo, her name "kak ayu"
she's the JM at the clinic,
helped me a lot,
thanks a lot kak ayu.

it has been a tough few days for me.
i was so stressed up lately.
so many problems, at yet, nothing has been solved so far.
i just cant focus at anything rite now..
my mind is flying away and away.

there was a time , i felt like i'm on the top of the world , a time when everything was great and wonderful
currently, i'm at the current opposite situation
in a very deep hole..

even today at work, before i sat for my viva with the specialist,
a group of students, who just got their 9 a-ss in the spm - they were in the program called the "doktor muda "
the person incharge saw me sitting at the clinic, and she came to me and nicely asked me
" doctor, this is a group of students who are looking foward to be future doctors , and they would like to interview , asking how is it , being a doctor "

at that time, i was really stressed and tense coz i was about to seat for the viva ..
i told her " i cant, i'm very busy rite now, waiting for the specialist to screw me up.."
then i told the kids " guys.... dont be a doctor, u just might regret it later "

well, those are the things that i shouldnt have said
and i felt bad about it
sorry kids.

if i were at their place, and a doctor told me the same thing i told them...
i would be very demoralized to be a doctor...

hencefoward , i'm really sorry for what i did today.

it has not been the best day of my life
but i'm trying the best to survive.


alialalala said...

i just had my final year clinical exams today
and it doesnt run smoothly
i did also demoralized some of my cousins once they said want 2 become a doctor
well i guess it`s da stress dat make us said dat
but i noe being a doctor is wonderful job
have a nice day dr

rizhan said...

salam hannan...lama tak dengar cerita. hows life treating you lately. so u buat medical ke sekarang? i am suffering also...being a specialist in medical looks easy in the eye...but the the emotional trauma and the responsibility is kinda huge...really huge...but i am surviving...i guess all througout our life as doctors..there will be challenges...tak kira masa HO ke MO ke specialist ke ...and its up to us on how we cope with it...
ok good luck bro...i believe and i am confident that u will be succesful in your doctor's life. take care

mummysyafie said...

aiyoo hannan..teruk sangat ke sekarang ni?? amik cuti la gi holiday..

Ibu to AqiF n ImraN said...

Hi Dr Hannan...ermmm u sound seriously in tense kan?..well as u said u shouldn't have said that to the students anyway...tapi takpelah it was a mistake and considering how tense n busy you appology is well accepted though :)...anyway i guess u need a break bro...

Maff said...

Kesian you sebab stress.
Tp kesian gak kat bebudak tu sbd dengar u cakap cam tu.
Tak pe la. It happens to everyone ...