circle of life

behind those smiles,
u have no idea what lies beneath ...
the lady in the photo, her name "kak ayu"
she's the JM at the clinic,
helped me a lot,
thanks a lot kak ayu.

it has been a tough few days for me.
i was so stressed up lately.
so many problems, at yet, nothing has been solved so far.
i just cant focus at anything rite now..
my mind is flying away and away.

there was a time , i felt like i'm on the top of the world , a time when everything was great and wonderful
currently, i'm at the current opposite situation
in a very deep hole..
sigh.

even today at work, before i sat for my viva with the specialist,
a group of students, who just got their 9 a-ss in the spm - they were in the program called the "doktor muda "
the person incharge saw me sitting at the clinic, and she came to me and nicely asked me
" doctor, this is a group of students who are looking foward to be future doctors , and they would like to interview , asking how is it , being a doctor "

at that time, i was really stressed and tense coz i was about to seat for the viva ..
i told her " i cant, i'm very busy rite now, waiting for the specialist to screw me up.."
then i told the kids " guys.... dont be a doctor, u just might regret it later "

well, those are the things that i shouldnt have said
and i felt bad about it
sorry kids.

if i were at their place, and a doctor told me the same thing i told them...
i would be very demoralized to be a doctor...

hencefoward , i'm really sorry for what i did today.

it has not been the best day of my life
but i'm trying the best to survive.