"I would rather do nothing than doing something that I hate "
Well , it used to be my principle of life. But then , this one doesnt work well when u live in the society or when u r in a relationship. If u hold tight to this " words of wisdom" - ur social life is pretty much "doomed".
Coz, when u r living in society or in a relationship - u have to learn to be flexible. U have to bend the rules. U have to follow the flow - so that u could bring a smile in others' faces :) - these are the unwritten rules of LIFE..... those who didnt follow the rules - become the hatred of the society.
But then - there's so much one could take , there's so much bending one could bear. When the bending is too much - it'll pass the threshold , it'll be broken.
Me? How do I deal with this society crap? ... Frankly , I'm not that good in this relationship thingy. I'm totally not the PR stuff. Sometimes I follow the rules , most of the times - I just follow my own rules.
I tried to be flexible to ppl around me and I tried my best. However , sometimes , when someone hit my "childish button" - I just cant take it anymore - then I become " myself" , the real me - a boy who's trapped in a man's body. Then , I'll become childish - the inconsiderate , selfish , unflexible kid.
There's one Malay saying which goes " hendak seribu daya , tak hendak , sejuta dalih" It's true and at the same time - it's bullshit. Yes, I could change to be the loveable doll for everyone - but deep down inside ,would I feel happy for myself?
There are times when we should take the bullets and there are times , we should duck and save ourselves. It may sound very selfish and it's. But the ugly truth is , being Mr Nice Guy - is really exhausting and it gets worse when ppl never appreciate what u have done.
Well, I'm not sure what the heck is hitting me tonite , maybe the pre-exam jitter , or maybe the hike in oil price...
whatever it is , in the end of the day , I DEFINITELY believe that I would rather be hated for who I am , than be loved from whom I'm not .....