I waited until passed midnite to write my entry today. Had a crappy day today. Well , disasterous is more suitable word actually. Maybe this what some ppl called "the monday blues" - yeah, the day that we pretty much messed up everything and ppl around us screwed us badly. How I wish that I overslept this morning and didnt go to the hospital. Unfortunately , I did and it had been a " not so interesting" experience at the hospital today. I knew for the fact that things will get uglier when I become the HO in the future , however I didnt see this one coming. Sighh...

We all made mistakes. It's something un-avoidable. The diff btwn each and everyone of us is - how bad are the mistakes , when it happened and how many times that we made the same mistake.

It only took one mistake to screw the rest of ur life. It only took one small mistake to give a bad impression about urselves. It may only took a tiny misunderstanding the destroy everything. That's how fragile our life is.

Once other ppl have a bad impression toward u , it's pretty much "unswitchable". Well, practically - it's a lot easier to change a good impression into a bad one. However , to fix a bad impression into a good one ... woww.. it's gonna take a very super-extravaganza effort - or in another word, it's near impossible.

Personally, if someone had a bad impression toward me , I couldnt be bothered less. But , when someone u have to work with everyday and someone who has the power to dictate ur future has a bad impression toward me ... I'm in a deep shit... that's really bothering me rite now ... Therefore , I have 2 clear option rite now...

1. Do the impossible... try to re-impress by doing something really great ...
2. Just "f**k it. Continue being a jerk and be miserable all the way...

Actually, the 1st option is gonna be more miserable for me.... Sigh... Sigh and sigh....

I just need something else to take my mind away for the moment. I need to refresh my brain. If only there's a "refresh button" somewhere on my head. hahhaha.. How we all wish that life would be that easy rite? Nevertheless, everyone has their own refresh button. Mine? I tried a few earlier. Tried the shopping button - to no avail. Tried the "eating a lot" button - useless. Tried the " sleeping button " - had a bad dream.

Eventually, as another ignorance human being , whenever I come upon this situation , I always forgot the most important. I forgot that everything is decided by Him.... I'll just pray to God that everything will turn out fine at the end of the day...