i'm so stressed!!!! + nightmares

behing all the smile and funny jokes...
i still cant hide the fact that i'm so stressful right now.

being a medical officer at the anesthesia department is killing me...
in the anesthesia department ... we supposed to be " zero defect "
because patient's life is on our fingertips
a little mistake could be fetal
wrong judgement and assessment during our work in the ICU and operating theater
will lead to death ...

i'm so stressed ..
i "encountered" a very difficult event during work a few days ago
but thank God my patient is still alive and in a very good condition

nonetheless , thing could have changed , if luck was not on my side
and that event... is haunting me rite now
that event made me lost my confidence
make me so frightened to do my work
make me so fragile right now

i even had nightmare due to the event..
sleepless night..
not just nightmare, even "day time -mares " i reckon..
sigh..
i just cant get it out of my head
it kept bugging me...