here to stay

I thank Allah for everything
I consider myself a lucky person
my life has been good .... and i have some great moments here and there
I started working as a doctor at the age of 23
at that particular age, some of my friends are still struggling to finish their study
some are still undecided of what they want to be..
for me .. life has been pretty much well planned and organized
definitely there were a few hiccup at certain stage
nonetheless - i am still doing fine here

i could have stay working for the government
earn a good salary monthly , enough for a decent life
and if i m lucky ,
i could continue my study to be a specialist very soon
sound good
sound reasonable
and for most parents - it's a perfect condition for their children

but then...
sometimes - GREED comes to mind
as a normal human being - we always want more

and now , i have the chance to open my own clinic
my own private practise
i have enough capital from my investors
a company will be formed- just awaiting for my nod

technically , it's a dream come true for me to have my own clinic
nobody could boss me around anymore
and - i have the chance to make more money

however , opening my own clinic
comes with a few risky situation as well
i have to quit my job at the government
meaning i lost my privillages as a group A government officer
i have to pay back my scholarship
and worst case scenario
i'll be dead if my clinic doesnt do well

right now ,
i am weighing my option
i want to give a shot - trying to join the master programme
if i failed to do that in this coming 1 or 2 years
that , i would really consider opening my own private practise

so far ,
nothing has been concluded yet
either way ,
i'm ready

i love my job serving at the government hospital
i love helping people
being a doctor - nothing bring me more happiness than seeing my patients get healthy 
but sometimes - it hurts when ur good deeds are not appreciated and worse still.... being questioned